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https://open.substack.com/pub/lindawilk/p/fear-dares-not-see?r=b37x&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcome=true Please follow and subscribe to my blog at this location! We will have weekly posts or more and lots of information and links readily available! This week's topic is "Fear Dares Not See!" and includes a reader's poll! See you there!

Are you up for a Free Spiritual Experience? Can one experience "spiritual awakening" online? I've found that there are widely varying opinions on this, so I'm inviting you to a completely free mini-spiritual retreat, on Saturday, October 7, 2023, from 10 AM to 1PM EST. All you will need to do to join in, is email me that you wish to sign up. In return, I will send you the Zoom link, and closer to the date, some handouts to assist your experience! WHAT IS A SPIRITUAL RETREAT(Online)? A retreat can encompass many things, but in recovery terms generally means a chance to get away from regular life and have an opportunity to look over one's own life path and how you think it is going. In 12-step programs, one often does this with one's sponsor, as an opportunity to do in-depth step-work. It can also be a chance to do some spiritual seeking, and if you are on a religious path, to do some "soul-seeking" in the path of your choice. Christians may seek a path of prayer and Bible study for a weekend, or a chance to hear a pastor who is well-known deliver a message and have a chance for discussion and worship. Buddhists of many paths may also welcome a long-term time of meditation and a chance to hear lessons from a revered teacher, including time to meet individually. As one who has studied religions, I've noticed many similarities between all paths of religions, though their beliefs be different. I think we all welcome a chance to put aside our daily life and chores and have a chance to attend to what our spiritual needs are. It is of note, however that that long term goal is how to live these beliefs in our daily lives. Spiritual retreat allows us the time to focus ourselves on what is important in our spirituality so we can be better persons in our daily lives when we return! WHAT ARE YOUR OWN SPIRITUAL NEEDS? I'm offering this retreat for women in any 12 step or similar recovery, to give you a chance to explore what a spiritual retreat can offer! Yes, I am moving towards a live retreat in the Spring. I found that just coming online and offering that retreat without you knowing me better seemed to be too great of a risk for some. Lots of interest, few sign ups! This is a chance for us to get to know each other. But EEK another barrier -- the online Mystique! I urge you to try it! We will make the online room comfy and safe as we work together and share. We do this in several ways: One is the simple act of being together in our own homes, yet in the same Zoom room. I've been doing this for a year, studying with others, and I can tell you, it gets comfy very quickly if you will allow it. We can use music, having our favorite clothes, foods, blankets, props, like an altar, or things that make you feel safe, such as candles and essential oils --YOU TELL ME! I have a beautiful female Buddha, pictures of my gardens, flowers, my little dogs and cats, a comfy chair, books that support what I am doing, soothing music, and I will share as much of that as possible. And you can see that without being allergic or scared because you will be in your own safe space. As the day unfolds I will iinvite you to share what is making your own space safe, what has worked and not worked, and what has brought you to this space. We will join in spiritual community. I hope I might even have some tools and experiences for your journey that you might not even have experienced yet CHALLENGE YOURSELF! If you have never been on a Spiritual Retreat, then three hours is just the right amount of time to check it out and see if it's for you! If you have been on a retreat, but NOT an Online Spiritual Retreat, I bet three hours is an amount you can stand! I'd love the opportunity to meet you in this setting, welcome you, and join you in making it safe for everyone! Together we can do what we can't do alone! JOIN ME! Linda@Coachingapeacefullife.com

BOOK REVIEW OF FIRES IN THE DARK: Healing the Unquiet Mind This morning, Tuesday, September 12, 2023, is twenty-two years and one day following the September 11th devastation of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. I happened on the end of a remarkable radio interview with the author of Fires in the Dark: Healing the Unquiet Mind. What rose to the surface for me, is a comment she made about how “thin” the use of the word trauma has become in recent time. “It can mean anything from the loss of a cat to the firing of bullets in Baltimore,” she said. This got me thinking of what I hear others call trauma...She is so right, I thought. Just how do we measure the depth of trauma from one person to another? How do we gauge the depth, the horror, the weight, the impact of what has happened, what the long-term effects will be, and what will be needed for healing? The word “temperature” is what came to my mind. I’m not sure there is a simple tool for this measurement. HOW DO YOU MEASURE YOUR OWN TRAUMA? This is something I am interested in hearing from readers about. Today’s interview on WYPR Baltimore has piqued my curiosity, and I’ve done a bit more research into Dr. Jamison’s interest in how to treat trauma and self modulate one’s life, and it’s fascinating! Dr. Jamison’s book traces the history of trauma treatment (and the lack of it) from WWI until today, using amazing stories to illustrate psychiatric history. She illuminates the fact that WWI and prior sufferers of “shell shock” were labeled “cowards” and often shot, pointing out that the roll of doctors and psychiatrists connected to the military was to get soldiers and officers back on the battlefield, to win the war! She is able to braid the line between patient and doctor, defining each dilemma as she speaks of her own dilemma facing Vietnam vets returning home with PTSD and very little resources to help them beyond medication, while giving credit to the VA Hospitals for continuing to develop and research new methods and treatments constantly in an effort to aid their wards. She is constantly compassionate and attentive to the needs of the many levels of PTSD we are becoming aware of in our evolving society. WHAT HELPS YOU MEDIATE YOUR PTSD SYMPTOMS? While we often hear in course recommendations, retreat invitations and the like, about the need for creativity, role models and imagination. In listening to Dr. Jamison’s talks (see above), I found more clarity and resourcefulness in the way she spoke about the necessity of these tools for healing: I would also say it’s not even that you have to be so creative yourself...It’s drawing upon the creativity of others, drawing upon the long history of our species, of how people have dealt with pain and suffering...when you begin to get better, you can bridge things over and make things more meaningful and put yourself in the company of people you admire by listening to their music or reading their books, realizing that not only are you not alone, but that people have given purpose to their lives...I think that one of the hardest things to do is to make that art...Step from being sick, psychotic, severely depressed, whatever, to feeling like you can take something from the awfulness and give back to society. And there’s just a huge...clinical literature on the importance of purpose, of having something that is larger than you are, that contributes to the greater good. This means that to thrive and survive, we can call on not just our own inner psyche, but the psyche of others who have come before us. This brings to my mind what I have found in twelve-step programs about passing what one has found on to others. It seems like such a simple concept, yet there is so much depth to it. When we are immersed in our own mental illness, it seems impossible to do this, yet at the first moment we can, it seems to be a huge leap into health and even happiness. I think of my own recovery and how listening to music that moved me, or reading even one page of something uplifting in a day could bolster my desire to keep going. Dr. Jamison ties this distinctly to the healing process. HOW TO TAKE YOUR OWN “TRAUMA TEMPERATURE?” Hearing Dr. Jamison talk about her powerful book, a blending of history and psychotherapeutic techniques, I have spent this day pondering both the size of events like September 11th, and the fact there are many people already born and grown who did not experience it. They feel their own level of trauma in their life, based on things that changed after that day. People living in this day feel the presence of war and danger in daily life and around the world, the imminent danger of climate change and the collapse of the world’s natural systems, and the loss of an ability to interpret what is trustworthy or truthful in many societies. It makes me keenly aware that everyone's “Trauma Temperature” may be measured by many factors, and it would be unfair to set one against the other as more or less severe. Clearly there are some, such as face to face warfare and killing that measure high on the scale. But there are other factors, such as coping skills (ability to manage in the face of stress) that also contribute to what one’s trauma temperature is. What I’m about to say here is my own reflection, not a clinical scale. It’s based on my experiences working with others, but also my own reflections of dealing with my personal trauma. If you have additions or different experiences, please add them via the comments. I’m very curious about the ways others have measured their success in coping and recovery. THE TOOLS TO MEASURE YOUR RECOVERY Resilience is an important measure in how well a person does with healing. What is resilience? There are a lot of definitions we could use, but the best for this situation involves a number of different factors. How well an individual can access and use these aspects or domains of themselves is a measure of how resilient they are. Here I’ve drawn from a colleague on LinkedIn, Jurie Rossouw: The six domains of resilience The six domains of resilience. If we use this model, then we have an excellent method to examine what Dr. Jamison is trying to get at: it is not that you can take a yardstick and lay it against each individual and have a perfect measure of what defines trauma. An incident that for some would seem mundane, might seem horrific to another. It is the traumatic experience laid against these measures of resilience that makes the difference, along with the sum of experiences up to the point of the particular incident. You may be the person who was the hero, who pulled the person from a fire, never once questioning the moment, running into the house, running out carrying the child on your back, not thinking of the danger, and of course not thinking yourself the hero at all. You may not even know what made you think to run into the rescue. Looking at the diagram above, you may or may not see the elements that made you the candidate to be a hero. But what happens afterward? Do you lie awake repeating the incident, questioning the right or wrong of it, seeing the incident over and over again? Do you find peace in the act itself, thanking the universe or God that you were able to rise to the occasion? Again, it is a sum total of life experience, support, lessons learned up to that moment, and your internal ability to piece those things together that defines how you will survive or thrive. HOPE AND GROWTH Expanding one’s resources to include what already exists and what may already have been present in our earlier lives may be a relief or extension of hope for some. Dr. Jamison talks about poetry and music that were present in her home as she was a child, that she came to see as a resource at other stages in her life. Perhaps you recall a song, a lullaby, a poem or an image of a favorite place that can be a support to you in your recovery journey now. Listening to this interview, and another similar one, I recalled sayings by my beloved grandfather that I have carried in my unconscious all of my life. As I thought of his silly jokes when we didn’t want to go to bed or eat lunch, “Sure, why eat or sleep, it only takes away from the time to play, and that’s what’s most important, right? Plenty of time to eat or sleep another day!” We would all (the grandkids) come to see the frivolity of our pleas as he joked with us and told us to go away from the table -- “plenty more stew for the rest of us anyway,” he’d say with a half-smile on his rosy-cheeked face! My adult self could remember that there was a time for everything and that I had to do work sometimes that I might not want to, but that the rewards came after! It brought a smile to my face to remember that there were some good times, not all darkness in those days. Similarly, I have begun to realize that when I was in the throes of healing, I could only remember the darkness, none of the light about the people I felt had harmed me. My father was only my abuser, my grandfather only my rescuer, and so on. As I found resources and recovery, I remembered that my father also was the one who taught me to garden, a resource that has carried me all my adult life. I remembered times in between the drunken rages that my father took us on “something rides” to unknown but wonderful places in natural spots to hike and discover nature with the whole family. He had some light inside, just like the rest of us, but it was so hard to admit that when I was trying to protect myself and felt resourceless. It was so hard to wrestle with the gray areas. Recovery is not a finished product. It is a growth process, a journey. The more we incorporate into that process, the more we see the shadows, the gray areas as the subtle shading to our landscape. Instead of being fearful, the shadows begin to add depth to the whole picture. We see that each stage of our work, each resource we have added, whether internal or external, has dispelled myths and fears and strengthened us for the rest of our journey. We are no longer alone.

Self-care has become a buzzword in recent years, but it’s more than just a trend. Practicing self-care is an act of prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It's about taking control of your life and making choices that support your overall health. In this article, Coaching a Peaceful Life will explore the numerous benefits of self-care. Lowers Stress Levels One of the most significant benefits of self-care is its ability to reduce stress levels. Stress is a natural part of life, but when it becomes chronic, it can cause significant harm to your mental and physical well-being. Chronic stress can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, and physical illnesses. Taking time for self-care activities can help reduce stress levels and provide a much-needed break from the demands of daily life. Whether it's taking a relaxing walk, meditating, or reading a book, self-care activities help you recharge and reduce stress levels. Increases Self-Worth and Confidence Another benefit of self-care is its ability to boost self-esteem and self-confidence. When you prioritize your well-being, you send a message to yourself that you are worthy of care and attention. Self-care activities such as exercise, healthy eating, and practicing good sleep hygiene can improve your physical health, which can lead to better self-esteem. When you feel good about yourself, you are more likely to tackle challenging tasks and take risks, which can lead to greater success and achievement. Consider enrolling in sessions from Coaching a Peaceful Life to learn to practice spiritual coaching. In these sessions, you can learn to accept who you are and set goals to achieve personal success. Sleep Quality Necessary to Self-Care Sleep is a critical component of good mental health, but many people struggle with getting adequate rest. Self-care activities such as acupressure, taking a warm bath or shower before bed, establishing a consistent sleep routine, and limiting screen time before bed can improve sleep quality. Good sleep is essential for cognitive function, memory, and emotional regulation. Getting enough rest can also reduce stress levels and improve overall mood. It can also help raise your self-confidence and esteem and improve your outlook on the upcoming day! Try it out! Promotes Optimistic Thinking Self-care activities can also help increase positive thinking. Negative self-talk and unhealthy thought patterns can contribute to anxiety and depression. By practicing self-care, you can interrupt negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. Self-care activities such as journaling, practicing gratitude, and meditation can help increase positive thinking and reframe negative thoughts. You can also give yourself permission to pursue an important goal, like getting a better job. Use positive self-talk to increase your confidence and use resources to help you revise your resume. These sources can also help you to know what a cover letter is and what to include to give you the best chance of getting the job. Controls Anxiety and Depression The management of anxiety and depressive symptoms can be accomplished with the help of self-care. Although it cannot replace treatment, self-care can support both therapy and medicines. Exercise, time in nature, and social interaction are examples of self-care practices that can boost mood and lessen symptoms of anxiety and melancholy. Enables Reflection and Introspection Self-care routines can also provide time for self-reflection and introspection. When we are constantly moving and doing, we often don't take the time to reflect on our lives and our choices. Self-care activities such as quiet time alone, nature walks, and journaling can provide space for introspection and spiritual growth. Taking the time to reflect on our lives can help us make more intentional choices and live with greater purpose and meaning. Improves Emotional Stability and Mood Self-care enhances overall mood and emotional well-being. When we prioritize our well-being and take care of ourselves, we feel better physically and emotionally. We are better equipped to handle stressors and challenges in our lives. We are happier, more resilient, and more connected to ourselves and those around us. Promotes Holistic Wellness Aside from the mental health benefits, self-care can also be a way to invest in a healthier lifestyle. Taking care of your body through diet and exercise can prevent chronic illnesses and diseases. Additionally, research health-focused products with positive online reviews on Safe Smart Family to find credible options. Another way to support your financial and mental health is by considering refinancing your home to reduce your monthly mortgage payment. Refinancing can ease financial stress and provide more room in your budget to invest in self-care. Embrace Self-Care for Overall Wellness Self-care is essential to maintain good mental health as it can help reduce stress levels, improve self-esteem and confidence, and promote better sleep. By incorporating self-care practices into our daily lives, we can reap numerous benefits that can positively impact every area of our lives. Therefore, it is important to prioritize self-care as a vital component of our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Gloria Martinez authors today's post. Gloria works with an amazing agency, https://womenled.org. WomenLed.org aims to celebrate women’s achievements in the workplace and is dedicated to increasing the number of women-led corporations, organizations, and small businesses by educating others about women-led achievements. Gloria has a genuine interest in self-care and recovery and has been very helpful to my efforts to get started with Coaching a Peaceful Life! Thank you, Gloria, for including my organization in your efforts! NOTE FROM LINDA: Please see my course offerings for a retreat and ten-week course related to this blog. You may be interested in these Fall offerings starting soon! #self-care, #mentalhealth, #balancedlife, #CoachingaPeacefulLife

I've been on an almost two-month hiatus. The time passed so quickly I almost didn't notice. Have you ever been involved in an endeavor that swallowed you up? You thought you were focused on one thing, but something kept dragging you off in another direction? Maybe bright shiny objects kept flashing in front of your eyes, dragging you off topic, off your work, out of the box you neatly had things in? Today's topic is about how spiritual purpose gets our attention. The problem is, we so easily ignore what the universe wants us to see! HOW IMPORTANT IS IT THAT YOUR LIFE HAS REAL MEANING TO YOU? I retired last October, and I was happy to do so. Or so I thought. I've worked since I was 15 years old, mostly at things I liked to do. I was feeling burnt out, maybe even like I was getting too old to keep going at the pace I was moving at. It surprised me to find myself jumping into a course on forming an online business only a month after my retirement. Yet it excited me. I'm the sort of person who likes to learn. I thought of it as an avocation, something to keep my mind occupied and active. Little did I know that in this innocent endeavor lurked a trap. My goal in retirement had been to invest in self-care, slow down and take time to assess what my next step would be. I would rest, have some time for meditation, walking, nature, and time on the farm. You know, those things that fall by the wayside when work consumes over 50% of your life. But old habits die hard. I underestimated the engrained nature of my years of habits of staying busy. Only a week after my retirement a wonderful ad popped upon my Facebook page. It seemed like a "sign" as I was contemplating this simple idea of starting online coaching. It was an invitation to a free 3-day event to learn about the new growing business of online entrepreneurship. It said this was cutting edge and would offer "a blueprint for your business." Just what I needed! I signed up immediately. DOWN THE SPIRITUAL RABBIT HOLE! Remember Alice in Wonderland? That's the trip I've been on! It is so easy to be distracted by the ideas and interests of other people's journeys, and even to believe they might be your own! I don't think this is a terrible thing, so long as we wake up at some point and take stock. Whose spiritual journey is this, after all? Will the same values that work for those around us work for us? Little by little I got caught up in the information fed to me by Google and Facebook's algorithms and more interesting "stuff" kept coming my way. How do I get my spiritual message out, I kept asking myself? Can I reach you best in a blog, or a book or a course? Each wonderful teacher offered up their method as the miracle answer to my quandary. My vision got foggier. Soon I was overcome by vertigo, running even faster and I had to STOP! A MUCH NEEDED RESPITE FROM MYSELF! Fortunately, I was invited to a 50-year reunion of a delightful community of friends from the seventies. I am blessed to have this group of friends who have stayed in touch and gathered periodically over the years to celebrate our comradery and connection. I don't know many who have over fifty people they are so close to in this way. There is love and spiritual communion whenever we are together, and it always gives me pause to reflect. From this group I cemented in my heart the importance of unconditional love and service to others. It was people here who called me to task when my life was stalled due to alcohol and drugs. A friend didn't know what was wrong, but he knew enough to question me, and it started the thought process in my head that change was in order. I have friends among these folks that I can confide in, bear my soul to, and unearth the things that hide out in my heart. I didn't really share the details of what I had been doing with the whole group; just a tidbit here and a smidgeon there. But by the end of the weekend of love and joking and communing, I had found my center again. I was home. I knew that I wasn't doing what my heart was calling me to do. I had ventured off the path. I didn't even feel bad about it because I was reassured of my values and worth in this life. I came back home knowing I had to refocus and take the time to find me. Both my path, and the "not path" were illuminated. I shared my observations with a group of women I am on this small business journey with and they supported my renewed vision. How important community is as we birth spiritual vision. IT'S ALL PART OF THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY -- ALWAYS. I have the feeling that all through my life, the universe has presented me with paths that have forks in the road. Often, I take the "wrong" one. I am enticed by the one with the bright flowers, the unusual animals, the things hanging from the branches that make it look interesting. Usually that's not the path that gets me where I need to be. Mine is a path of service. I listen, I look, I feel my way through places that are soft, shadowed, and misty. I find other souls along the path. I join with them, walk awhile, then wish them well as they veer off on their own. Some stay for the journey. There is nothing I love more. Slowly, however, I am learning that the distractions have their lessons as well. There are lessons that teach knowledge and information and there are those that teach less direct things...like resilience and flow and compassion. There are moments that teach awareness and there are those that teach boundaries. No spiritual lesson is lost if we pay attention. I return to you refreshed and renewed. I still don't know where this spiritual journey leads, but I invite you to walk the path with me for a while if you feel so moved. Linda Wilk, spiritual coach, https://coachingaspirituallife.com

I’m offering you a conversation today, summarized from talks with clients. I’ve done so to protect the confidence of those people, and to allow me to convey to you a common theme people present in coaching sessions. I wanted to highlight some of the things that can and do arise for people who are spiritual seekers, not always in a traditional way. We begin where this person, Jan has a few months out of treatment and is beginning to question more seriously their connection to a Higher Power: SPIRITUAL LIFE IN EARLY RECOVERY Linda: "Hi, I'm glad we have this chance to chat.” Jan: "Well, I really have something on my mind that I’d love to talk to you about. It keeps coming up over and over. It's about spirituality. I don't mean religion specifically, but something broader. I just can’t get the hang of this turning it over thing and I don’t know why I have to.” Linda: “Well, spirituality can be understood as a connection to something greater than us. It's about looking for deeper meanings, understanding our place in the universe, and developing inner peace and strength." Jan: "That sounds a bit too vague, could you explain a bit more?" Linda: "Of course. Spirituality can be different for everyone. For some, it might mean connecting with nature on a deep level, for others, it might be about finding a sense of purpose or understanding what gives their life meaning. Some people go back to the God of their understanding from church or childhood, but that’s not needed. It's about discovering our own values, so we have something to lean on in times of hardship, like now, during your recovery." Jan: "Okay, I think I get it. But how does it fit in with my recovery and turning it over?" Linda: "Great question. In the 12-step recovery program, the second step is about coming to believe in a Higher Power. This Higher Power can be anything greater than yourself that can help you. It doesn't have to be a god or anything religious, but it's a recognition that we aren’t alone. Spirituality can be an essential part of the healing and recovery process because it helps us gain a new perspective on our experiences, our pain, and our path to recovery. It's also about learning to let go and trust the process. It’s also about acknowledging that our way, the way of our addiction, didn’t work." Jan: "I see, but how can I get started on this?" Linda: "Starting your spiritual journey is a personal process, and there's no right or wrong way to go about it. Here are a few suggestions, though. First, spend some quiet time each day reflecting or meditating; maybe read something that has spiritual meaning to you. This helps you to connect with your inner self. Second, you could try to spend more time in nature. It's incredible how much we can learn and feel when we just sit quietly and observe the world around us. Third, consider writing in a journal about your feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Writing can be therapeutic, and it helps us better understand our emotions and thoughts. Lastly, reach out to others. Talk to people who are also on this path. Maybe seek out a mentor or join a meditation group. Jan: "That sounds like a lot, but I think I can try some of it." Linda: "That's all I ask for - just keep an open mind and take one day at a time. Let's continue to connect and talk about your experiences, your questions, and your discoveries. This is your journey, but you're not walking it alone." Jan: "But what if I don't feel anything or I don't see any changes immediately?" Linda: "That's perfectly normal. Just like physical fitness, spiritual fitness requires consistency, patience, and time. The changes might not be visible right away. You might even feel frustrated at times, and that's okay. It's not about achieving a particular goal. Spirituality isn't a magic solution to your struggles. It's a tool to help you navigate. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to have bad days. It's about learning to sit with yourself, with the silence, as you grow.” Jan: "I see. That does take some pressure off, knowing that it's okay not to have instant results." Linda: "Absolutely! And remember, Step 11 in the 12-Step Program encourages us to seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power. This is a practice, an ongoing effort. It's not something you check off a list. It's something you live." "It's about being open to the idea that there's a bigger picture, and even though we might not understand everything that's happening to us, we can still find a sense of purpose, peace, and resilience. And that can make a huge difference in your recovery journey." Jan: "Yeah, I think I'm beginning to understand now. I'll try to keep an open mind about this." Linda: "That's great! And remember, me, your program people, we're all here for you. Whether you want to share your experiences, ask questions, or just talk, don't hesitate to reach out.” SPIRITUALITY AND CARE OF SELF "I'm thrilled to hear you're open to exploring this. Let's remember that, as we progress, it's essential to practice self-compassion. Sometimes, it can be easy to judge ourselves harshly when we feel like we aren't making progress fast enough or when we face setbacks. Just as Step 10 of the Program urges us to continue to take personal inventory and promptly admit when we're wrong, it's equally crucial to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes and to celebrate small victories." Jan: "Self-compassion? How does that tie into spirituality?" Linda: "Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a good friend. It's about acknowledging that everyone, including you, is imperfect, and that's okay. In a spiritual context, it's recognizing that we are all part of a greater whole and we all deserve love and understanding, especially from ourselves. It can help us to accept our flaws and our strengths." Jan: "I think I've been quite harsh on myself lately. I'll try to keep that in mind." Linda: "That’s great! Keep in mind that your spiritual journey is unique to you, and it won't look like anyone else's. You're on a path to better understand yourself and your place in the world. It's a path that can bring healing, connection, and deeper meaning into your life." Jan: "I have to remember that there is no deadline for this journey. In the 12-Step program, we learn about 'One Day at a Time.' The same applies here. Like you said, my spiritual journey is not a race; every step offers a chance to discover something new. It’s a comforting thought.” Linda: "I'm here for you anytime you want to talk or have questions. Remember, it's all about progress, not perfection. You're not alone in this journey. We are all in this together, one day at a time." CONTINUING RECOVERY AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH Months later: Jan: "I've been working on my spiritual program for a while now, and I've made some progress, but I have to admit that I'm still struggling with the concept of a Higher Power. I mean, I get it on a surface level, but it's hard to truly internalize it and make 'turning it over’ part of my recovery." Linda: "That's completely okay. We all struggle with distinct aspects of recovery, and the Higher Power concept can be particularly challenging. It's important to remember that a Higher Power doesn't have to be religious, or even spiritual in a traditional sense. Have you thought about what a Higher Power might mean to you?" Jan: "I've tried, but nothing really clicks. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. It feels like a leap of faith that I'm not prepared to make yet." Linda: "That's totally understandable, and you're not alone. Many of us have been there. The idea of a Higher Power is ultimately about acknowledging that there are forces bigger than us, things beyond our control. It's about surrendering to the process and trusting that we're being guided in the right direction, even if we don't fully understand it. The key is to remember that this isn't about blind faith in something unattainable. It's about believing that you can recover, that change is possible, and that you don't have to do it all on your own. This belief can be a Higher Power. Think back to when you first got clean; you had to take a lot of things on ‘faith,’ right? But as time went on, you understood more, and things became clearer." Jan: "I see. I guess when you put it like that, it does make more sense. Maybe I've been overthinking it and making it more complicated than it needs to be." Linda: "It's easy to do that. But remember, recovery, just like spirituality, is a journey. You're not expected to have all the answers. It's about learning, growing, and finding what works for you. Just remember, you're not alone in this. We're all here to support and learn from each other." Jan: “I just find it so hard to trust what others say. I don’t know if it’s because of stuff I carried in with me, or my lack of experience in recovery, or what!” Linda: "I get it and there are many tools and resources available to help you in this journey. For example, your sponsor can be a great guide and sounding board as you explore your understanding of a Higher Power. They can share their own experiences, provide you with different perspectives, and help you navigate any confusion or doubts." Jan: "Yeah, my sponsor has been great so far, very understanding. But I don't want to rely on them too much. I keep thinking I have to do this myself!" Linda: "It's great that you have a supportive sponsor, and remember, it's okay to lean on them. That's what they're there for. However, you're right, exploring multiple resources can provide a more rounded understanding." Linda: "You might also consider attending spiritual retreats. These are often designed to supply a space for deep reflection and connection and can be a powerful way to explore and strengthen your spirituality. They can also be an excellent way to meet others who are on similar paths and learn from their experiences." Jan: "That sounds interesting. I haven't tried a retreat before." Linda: "It's definitely worth considering. Plus, reading outside literature can also be helpful. There are countless books and articles that delve into different aspects of spirituality and the concept of a Higher Power. You could start with some of the classic recovery texts, like 'The Serenity Prayer' by Reinhold Niebuhr or 'Came to Believe,' a collection of stories by AA members about their spiritual journey." Linda: "And don't forget about the power of connection with others in recovery. Meetings, online forums, and social activities are all places where you can share your thoughts, doubts, and insights about the Higher Power concept. Hearing about other people's journeys can sometimes provide the spark of understanding that you're looking for." Jan: "Those are a lot of tools. I think I've been too focused on figuring this out on my own that I've forgotten about all the resources available to me." Linda: "It's an easy thing to do. But remember, you're not alone on this journey. Whether it's through your sponsor, a retreat, a book, or a new connection, there's a world of help available. The key is to remain open and willing to learn. One step at a time, you'll find your way." Special thanks this week to my friend Jeff Partch for the stunning photographs, which gave just the right tone to this piece! Blessings, Jeff!

As I’ve been building and publicizing this website and blog, I’ve been hearing from people who have known me through my career as a family therapist and addiction counselor. Many questions arise about the need for overall health in supporting recovery, and in addressing all aspects of self in complete recovery. To address the questions you are asking, I will be interspersing blogs that address the scientific and nutritional issues of self with other topics. One discovery I have made is the site, www.aminoacidtherapy.com. Run by Christina Veselak and her team, this is the most complete site around to gain comprehensive information such as what follows below! Supporting your loved one's Addiction Recovery Supporting a loved one in their addiction recovery journey is crucial for their well-being. As family and friends, understanding the impact of drugs and alcohol on the brain's neurotransmitters can help you supply informed support. In this guide, we will explore how drugs and alcohol affect neurotransmitters and how amino acid supplementation, along with proper nutrition, can play a role in their recovery. How Drugs and Alcohol Affect Neurotransmitters Drugs and alcohol can disrupt the delicate balance of neurotransmitters in the brain, leading to cravings, mood imbalances, and cognitive issues. It is important to understand the key neurotransmitters affected: The Role of Nutrition in Supporting Recovery Proper nutrition is essential for overall well-being and can play a significant role in supporting addiction recovery. Here are some key aspects: Protein: Including protein-rich foods like lean meats, poultry, fish, eggs, legumes, nuts, and seeds supplies amino acids that support neurotransmitter synthesis. Balanced Diet: Encourage a well-rounded diet with a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats to ensure adequate nutrient intake for best brain health. Hydration: Drinking enough water supports overall brain function and helps flush out toxins from the body. Incorporating Amino Acid-Rich Foods Certain foods have amino acids that support neurotransmitter synthesis. Encourage your loved one to include these in their diet. When you can begin to build these foods into your diet and eat clean food (those without preservatives, additives or sugars). L-Glutamine: Foods like beef, poultry, fish, dairy products, legumes, and nuts are rich in L-Glutamine, which aids in restoring GABA levels and reducing cravings. L-Tyrosine: Lean meats, eggs, dairy products, almonds, avocados, and bananas are great sources of L-Tyrosine, which supports dopamine production and reduces withdrawal symptoms. L-Tryptophan: Encourage the consumption of turkey, chicken, fish, dairy products, eggs, nuts, and seeds to supply L-Tryptophan, which aids in serotonin synthesis and promotes mood balance. Amino Acid Supplementation In addition to nutrition, amino acid supplementation can be beneficial for neurotransmitter support. It is important to consult with a healthcare professional experienced in amino acid therapy. Some commonly used amino acid supplements include: L-Glutamine: Supports GABA production, reduces cravings, and aids in repairing damaged tissues. L-Tyrosine: Helps restore dopamine levels, reduces cravings, and supports withdrawal symptom management I want to thank and give full credit to Christina Veselak and her team at the Academy for Addiction and Mental Health Nutrition for the information contained in this blog. I also want to alert those who are in recovery to the fact that there is a new recovery network available through Christina’s organization, called the “Feeding Recovery Network Meeting”. These meetings are available online and the info is on the www.aminoacidetherapy.com site on their calendar. If you want to read more about the way the brain and body use amino acids and how it affects our moods, I’d recommend any one of Julia Ross’ books. Her most recent is The Craving Cure. More and more people are catching on to the brain and body science of amino acids. Stay tuned!

This past week I celebrated 42 years of recovery. I share this not to brag, but to tell you that recovery is a long, strange trip that involves all aspects of self; a constantly evolving interplay of one's mental, physical, emotional, and yes, spiritual self. If someone had tried to talk to me about all of this in May of 1981, I wouldn't have been open to any of it. This week I had an email exchange with Christina Veselak of the Academy of Addiction and Mental Health Nutrition (Amino Acid Therapy - Home - Academy for Addiction and Mental Health Nutrition) and I found myself incredibly excited about what is going on in the world of science of addiction. You see, I'm involved in the spiritual recovery of addicts and alcoholics. I see people who are coming along in their recovery, working a program, usually in the 12 steps or Recovery Dharma, and feeling like they are ready to go deeper. Most of their problems are what we in recovery call "luxury problems." We have roofs over our heads, enough money to survive and pay the bills, no day-to-day drama, and the wonderful experience of being of service to others daily. Life is good! On the other hand, in the rooms of the recovery community, I see people struggling to stay away from their drug of choice or overcome and overwhelmed with chaos in their daily living, with dual-diagnoses, and many in this position die or worse. Some appear like the walking dead, sentenced to daily life stuck in an abyss of addiction wandering the streets homeless and dead but alive. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WALKING DEAD AND LIFE? Before I came here to work on my own, I had the privilege of working at one of the most amazing rehab centers around, Bridging the Gaps (Drug & Alcohol Rehab Center in Virginia | Bridging the Gaps). Like Christina Veselak, Pam Reiman, the director at Bridging the Gaps, believes in the integrated approach to recovery and the program is structured to help all the clients learn the value of working from the physical to the mental and emotional to spiritual recovery, utilizing abstinence and 12-step recovery as primary tools. By utilizing such a well-rounded approach, people coming into early recovery address essential issues that help them to understand themselves: It is the individual that is addicted, no matter what the substance. There are incredible benefits to feeding the brain and body with good nutrition and amino acid supplements, to heal damage and help with cravings (How Functional Nutrition May Hold the Key to Successful Addiction Treatment and Recovery - Academy for Addiction and Mental Health Nutrition (aminoacidtherapy.com) By emphasizing abstinence from all mood-altering substances, the person is given the best chance for healing and the best chance of grasping and holding on to a community of like-minded people that will support them in early recovery.Neuroplasticity and Recovery: An Old Dog Can Learn New Tricks - Bridging the Gaps Counter to early theories, the removal of sugar and simple carbohydrates from the diet also supports healing of neural pathways and helps to reduce stress. Increase of tools such as mindfulness, cognitive behavioral pattern changes, and anger management can aid an individual in changing long term patterns of negative behavior. WHERE DOES SPIRITUALITY ENTER IN? Traditional twelve step programs are often quick to emphasize the need for a spiritual awakening to make a significant change in life; however, the twenty-first century has seen the advent of atheist and agnostic Atheists Agnostics and All Others (aa-ao.org) or secular HOME | Secular AA (aasecular.org) versions of Alcoholics Anonymous to accommodate the times, and new programs such as Recovery Dharma Home • Recovery Dharma, which is Buddhist in its foundations, does not advocate any god, but rather the reduction of suffering in the world for self and others. There is an emphasis on right action, compassion,and right thinking. The twelve step programs in general focus on the formation of a personal relationship with a "higher power of your own understanding." The significant action of changing one's life path in a meaningful way, does seem to jibe with the idea of giving up one's old ways, old actions, and old friends that are tied to a drug and alcohol lifestyle. Even when people are noticeably young in getting off drugs and alcohol, they have often "failed to thrive" or set themselves up in any adult successes. In this case, physical, mental, and emotional development need to come first, for the individual to feel a sense of mastery that might have come earlier in life had drugs and alcohol not interceded. A saying often heard in the AA rooms is "you stopped growing emotionally when you started drinking, so how old do you think you are now?" It follows that as we grow into our emotional selves, it's natural to begin seeking spiritually. Some people have lost the religious roots of their earlier life, some never had any spiritual upbringing, and some just become curious as they work the steps of the program. Nature is a common theme that brings folks to think about the bigger sense of the world. Sometimes it is not God, per se, but that feeling that there is so much that is a mystery or unknown in the world. Some people experience a mystical or spiritual experience as part of their growth into finding themselves, and this leads them to become seekers. Whatever the beginnings, there is bound to be some questioning and curiosity that develops as health comes in the other three areas. As someone in recovery for a long time, I find this wonderful and amazing. OPTIONS FOR GREATER GROWTH Many recovering folks opt for options beyond just meetings or church involvement to expand their spiritual horizons. Some attend conferences of their twelve step groups, which allows them to travel to be involved with larger gatherings that offer workshops, speakers and often are in beautiful locations like the beach or the mountains. Often groups organize camping trips, rafting trips, or other recreational activities with friends, which take place outside the structure of the meetings, but are a chance to expand one's friendships with others. During gatherings like this, friends in recovery begin to experience connections that have great meaning, the happiness, serenity, and immense joy that are building blocks of continued recovery. Just going to treatment, counseling and meetings will not build the inner fortitude that this kind of connection brings, and it certainly builds the resilience that helps one through life's tough times without picking up a drink or a drug. It also builds long-lasting trust in self and in others. Once this happens, this new sober life takes on new meaning and recovery life has a meaning all its own. Many people who move into long term recovery begin to seek out spiritual growth as a goal in itself. Seeing that the more they open up spiritually, the more they find they are capable of, they begin to find spiritual retreats on a yearly basis as a place for renewal, growth, or enhancement of their lives. Around ten years of recovery I began to find this truth in myself. Later, I found joy in creating and leading these retreats for others as well. EXPAND AND CREATE NEW PATHS IN RECOVERY On one such retreat I heard God calling me to minister to others. I was shocked, because I literally heard a voice in my mind saying "You're a minister!" It took me several years to discern what that really meant. Little by little I realized that I was already ministering to others but that my higher power meant me to do more and to get clearer. I honestly resisted but the call never let up, and here I am! This Fall I am returning to running spiritual retreats, and I have my spiritual coaching business which helps others to dive deeper into their own callings. I have a course aimed at helping women gain the skills they need to move into their own strongest self and meet their dreams! I work daily to listen to this call and follow it. I'd like to help you follow your calling, too! You can learn more about the wonderful spiritual retreat we are having, September 29, October 1 and October 2, 2023, at Course Offerings | CoachingAPeacefulLif (coachingapeacefullife.com). Page down from here to see other course offerings as well. Or write to me at linda@coachingapeacefullife.com. I'd love to talk to you!

Whether you’re in a long-term recovery mindset, have just entered the world of sobriety, or found that your life isn’t what you thought it was since the pandemic, it’s time for a change. You tried making changes in your personal life, but have you considered that a recovery career change could be just what you need to reset and rebound? Today, Coaching A Peaceful Life’s Linda J. Wilk, MAPC shares a bit of insight on how to take the leap into a new career, whether you simply want to change jobs or wear the hat of entrepreneur for the first time. Trying Entrepreneurship as a Career Many people believe that lasting peace comes with working for yourself. This is true in many ways, but your best chance of success comes from laying a solid groundwork. This should include: Do your research: Before you begin any type of new business (or change careers, for that matter), do your research. Get to know the industry that you’re interested in, talk to people who have experience in it, and form a network. Employment training site Unmudl.com also recommends that you have a conversation with your family before you make a move. Formulate your business structure: Once you decide that entrepreneurship is for you, it’s time to establish a formal business structure. This is a crucial first step toward becoming a business owner. When you establish a business structure, you tell the IRS how you plan to pay taxes, and you’ll likely take some financial liability off yourself. A quick tip here is to utilize an online formation service that will help you with the paperwork, guide you through the rules, and give you all the forms you’ll need to complete the task. Pursue your passion: Changing careers, especially once you reach your forties, should be a positive move. In that vein of thought, make a point to pursue your passion in your new endeavor. Kaiser Permanente explains that doing what you love can reduce stress, which is just an added reward of transitioning careers. Why Now? The real question is, why not? As Linda can attest, you’re never too old to change careers, and it’s never too late to make positive improvements to your life. There are plenty of benefits to updating your employment status. These include: More autonomy. When you start your own business or switch to a job that allows you more control, you will be more satisfied and fulfilled. This is especially true if you feel like you’re not really making a meaningful connection or contribution to your current job. Greater flexibility. The Australian Computer Society says it best, “employees with flexible work options are happier, more motivated, and more likely to stay in their current role…” When you work for yourself or transition into a more flexible working environment, you’ll improve not just your workday but your life overall. Improved financial position. There is no guarantee here, but the best way to increase your earning potential is to remove the barriers that you currently face. Is it scary? Absolutely. But sometimes, pushing through your financial fears can help you increase your earnings ability so that you can live a more comfortable life, which is important, especially if you’re beginning to eye the end of your working years. Ultimately, finding peace within yourself is not just a matter of your personal choices. It’s a matter of your professional endeavors and recovery choices as well. Remember, even if you’ve experienced setbacks, it’s possible to achieve your dreams in both your recovery and in life. Remember, start by laying a solid foundation, which might be forming your business structure early on. You’ll also want to clearly define the reasons you want to change, whether that’s for more autonomy or to improve your financial position. Your goal is to live a better life, and that begins with the work you put into your working situation. Last Thoughts on Recovery and Career Change One last caveat from Ms. Wilk: This may seem counter-intuitive, but I have always found the most satisfaction in living my life in service to others, and amazingly, I have found that the most successful entrepreneurs I have met are following the same path. They see themselves as being of service to their clients first, and as salespeople second. This works with recovery and in life in general. It has helped me to see that so long as I am following what I feel called to do, I will always be provided for." 👍🏼😍🙏🏼Thanks to Gloria Martinez for guest blogging on this post today. I'm so appreciative of your interview skills and your ability to link information from multiple places with my overall approach to coaching for peace! Hope you will come back again!

Are you sensitive to the separation that has developed between us and the natural flow of nature? As the pace of daily life gets faster, does the desire for a "time out," a chance to get away, or a vacation gets stronger? Yet even when we take the time, we may race around trying to fit it "all" in. There seems to be no escape from life as we know it. SPIRITUAL RETREATS FILL A VOID Recently a friend shared with me that in the last three months she has scheduled two spiritual retreats. I was envious. She picked two different venues. The first was a beautiful spa retreat with yoga, vegan food, multiple modes of massage and interactions with groups of like-minded people to "refresh mind, body and spirit." The second was a solo opportunity at a luxury hotel that offered spa services and healthy food with an opportunity for her to have quiet time alone for contemplation, in a beautiful setting. It led me to reflect on how long it has been since I have taken time like this myself. To be fair, I live in a setting that is quiet and contemplative every day, near water and woods, away from the kind of life most people live. It was the conscious choice to set aside time that struck me. How easy it is to become involved in the daily habits of our lives, lose touch with our spiritual aims, and lapse into a flow that is less than healthy. My friend's conscious focus on her spiritual needs helped me to refocus my own inner self on what I needed as well. In a world as hectic as ours, with so many external demands, we may find ourselves lethargic, fatigued, anxious or in a general malaise, and not even know why. Many people describe a feeling of "brain fog." Some say they have difficulty finding the same purpose they once felt about life; others say they have never had such a direction in life. As one who has frequently been on or led spiritual retreats throughout my life, I can tell you that these sojourns have deeply influenced my feelings in all these areas. I have come away from retreats feeling rejuvenated, inspired, excited, newly creative, and spiritually called to a new place. Giving myself the gift of retirement from the outside world for even a long weekend has rewarded me ten times over in the energy that was generated by the joining together with others come together for the same purpose. RESPECTING THE EARTH AND ITS SEASONS Spiritual retreats come in all "flavors" and types, from traditional Christian to Asian religions, to eclectic combinations, to twelve step recovery. People tend to choose what they feel will best fit the journey they are on, or what they feel will help expand their spiritual path or help them address a particular spiritual question they have in mind. In my own journey, I have found it quite helpful to integrate a particular aspect of traditional Chinese medicine. It resonates with my love of gardening and respect for the earth: that is the honoring and observation of the seasons in both the earth and what it offers us, and in the rhythm of our own bodies. Many years ago, I was introduced to a book, Staying Healthy with the Seasons, by Elson M. Haas Staying Healthy with the Seasons: Haas, Elson M.: 9781587611421: Amazon.com: Books. This small volume addressed the many aspects of living in rhythm with the seasons, how the five elements of traditional oriental medicine coincided with the seasons, and how food also matched theses seasons and was the "medicine" for ailments that arose from imbalance of these times. The synchronicity of these systems could not be denied, both in their simplicity and their thoroughness, as well as the thousands of years of practice and observation behind it. In my own retreats, I try to return to this uncomplicated way of balance, which seems to bring an innate order to my life. Combined with the elements of mindfulness, movement, group process and creative projects, these retreats have been instrumental in many people diving deeper into what is meaningful in their own spiritual lives, particularly for those engaged in 12-step recovery. These retreats are not aimed at any specific religion, but rather aimed at helping the participant deepen whatever spiritual path they are on. Other spiritual retreats may specifically focus on a religious theme, and individuals who are deeply involved or seeking a religious experience may choose that avenue. Regarding recovery, people often choose to complete a fifth step while on a retreat, as the time feels much more intimate and confidential, and they may be attending with their 12-step sponsor. HOW OPEN YOU ARE IS WHAT YOU WILL GET OUT OF IT! If you have never been on a spiritual retreat, ask yourself these questions: What have I been wanting to investigate about myself but never dared to ask? Do I take more care of others than myself, and sometimes wish I could turn that around? What stops me? If I took a little time for me, how much more available would I be for the tasks of life? What would change if I had time to look a little more at my priorities? Then dream a little: what kind of things would you like to do if you went away on spiritual retreat? What have you been wishing for time for, but never quite got to? Ask folks you know that have gone on retreats what it was like for them. Believe me, I have never come away empty from one of these experiences. The more willing and open I was, the more I took away. I want to encourage you to think of drinking from a stream of clear, pure water! AN OPPORTUNITY FOR WOMEN IN RECOVERY This Fall, with the help of some friends, I will be offering a retreat in the hills of West Virginia, during the beauty of our autumn leaves. We'll be on top of a hill, surrounded by trees, with hiking and a beautiful estate setting. In keeping with the Fall season, we'll have nurturing harvest foods, all prepared from scratch, hearty breakfasts, and fresh greens and soups for lunch. You will have creative opportunities to explore your inner self, interactions with others in active recovery, spiritual exercises and plenty of free time to roam and recoup. The setting is splendid, you will feel like the queen you are! Please visit https://coachingapeacefullife.com/s-projects-side-by-side to get more details and place your deposit. Spaces are limited. I would love to spend the time with you! Please think about joining me from wherever you are. The Hagerstown airport is 45 minutes from the location in Berkeley Springs, and DC airports are about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Please email me at Linda@coachingapeacefullife.com with questions!

I'd like to give you what may be startling information about recovery and success. There's new research about repeat attempts at recovery and how it leads to achieving success. There's also good evidence to suggest that those who achieve long term recovery go on to find great contentment and success in achieving their goals. I got some interesting feedback on my last blog which will prompt the next few posts. One person suggested I had enough content for four posts. Another questioned the validity of people with dual diagnoses achieving any viable success. Another asked about the disease itself and the brain chemistry. Let's unravel the questions by posting some of the facts. PEOPLE RECOVER FROM ADDICTION! In 2019, John Kelly, et al, reported the results of an extensive survey of users of alcohol and drug, perhaps the most extensive ever, in the Journal of Alcohol and Drug Dependence (Vol. 181, 1 Dec. 2017). It was called: "Prevalence and pathways of recovery from drug and alcohol problems in the United States population: Implications for practice, research, and policy." Kelly's group made a probability-based study of the US population and determined that in the sample, 11.1% reported having a drug or alcohol problem, translating to roughly 27.5 million adult citizens. What was unique to this study, however, was the second survey question, which asked people whether they considered themselves in recovery. To this, 74.8 per cent of the people replying responded that they were in recovery. This translates to 20.5 million American adults in 2019. What's notable about this, from my perspective, is that at this point in history, we were mostly focusing on the loss of lives and the opiate crisis. It seems important to balance those frightening figures with some notation of what is happening in the recovery world. People are recovering! I'm not in any way suggesting that the problems aren't happening. I do, however, want to draw attention to what works and build upon it. This study and others related to it suggested a few things: While it may take several attempts to gain recovery, the more a person tries, the more likely they will gain and achieve lasting recovery. Recovery may not look the same for everyone. The study reported most utilized support was mutual help (45.1%, SE=1.6), followed by treatment (27.6%, SE=1.4), and emerging recovery support services (21.8%, SE=1.4), including recovery community centers (6.2%, SE=0.9). They did not weigh any form of recovery as more valuable than another. WHAT COUNTS AS SUCCESS? From this coach's point of view, success must be measured not by some external measure, but by the individual's ability to set goals of their own and achieve them. This is a multi-faceted achievement. Many of us in recovery will be quick to tell you that in addition to putting down the drug or the drink, we faced major lifestyle changes and the adoption of life skills we never learned because our addiction was the center of our lives. For many, the skills of communication, knowing and utilizing feelings, goal setting, as well as identification and achievement of life and job skills are foreign territory. Before a person in early recovery can know what goals they want to achieve and how to measure their own success, they have a lot to do to master primitive life skills. Treatment often bridges the gaps for many, offering the opportunity to catch up on these basic skills, practicing with their peers before having to venture out into the world. Self-help groups like the 12-step programs, Smart Recovery and Recovery Dharma also offer practical places to learn more. Hopefully, the individual's work environment will be supportive, and they will feel able to be open. From this coach's point of view, success must be measured not by some external measure, but by the individual's ability to set goals of their own and achieve them. This is a multi-faceted achievement. Many of us in recovery will be quick to tell you that in addition to putting down the drug or the drink, we faced major lifestyle changes and the adoption of life skills we never learned because our addiction was the center of our lives. For many, the skills of communication, knowing and utilizing feelings, goal setting, as well as identification and achievement of life and job skills are foreign territory. Before a person in early recovery can know what goals, they want to achieve and how to measure their own success, they have a lot to do to master primitive life skills. They may find that their drug of choice was the glue that held them together in these situations, and without it, they don't feel they can survive!

I'm a long term recovering addict and alcoholic. In my own life, this means total abstinence from alcohol and all drugs. This is a much more confusing conversation today than it was when I got sober in 1981. Back then if you were in a 12-step program and you took anything, even drugs requiring a prescription that would be seen as altering your mind, you were not seen as in recovery. For someone like me, who had suffered a lifetime of depression (my first remembered deep down being 5 years old), this made sobriety a big challenge. I came to recover because none of the drugs or alcohol were working anymore. I'd already been in therapy for about 4 years, and that wasn't working either. I didn't want to live, but I didn't want to be unsuccessful at dying. I wasn't a successful addict or alcoholic because I simply could medicate myself enough to make the pain go away. Nothing was working anymore, and I was only 27 years old. I got to an AA meeting because a friend asked me to go along before we went out to do other things. That night, I heard a woman talk about feelings like mine that brought tears to my eyes. In my mind, I asked myself, "You mean, alcohol might be the problem, not the answer?" I was incredulous. This idea had never occurred to me before that moment, and I didn't want to believe it. But something deep inside me told me this was right, and I never left AA from that moment. AA taught me things that my alcoholic family never could. I learned a new way of living. I was afraid if I didn't stay connected to something, I might get the courage to suicide. People extended a caring hand to me and helped me out of the darkness. My sponsor said, "Just don't drink, don't drug and don't die, one day at a time, one second at a time if need be, and call me if you are in trouble." It was to me, a miracle. But it was not easy. Alcohol and drugs were not my only problem. I had a mental illness as well. Maybe several. And those kinds of problems do not go away just by taking the substances away. The substances were my medications for these other problems. THE PARADOXES OF 12 STEP AND MENTAL HEALTH RECOVERY The topic I'm taking up today is not theoretical. I have lived it, from the days of no medication to the days of lithium and serotonin reuptake-inhibitors and doctors thinking they dictated treatment, to the current days of beginning to advocate for myself and my body. This road is not an easy path. Whether doctors and psychotherapists want to believe it, we patients know that diagnoses suffer from the fads of doctors. Psychology is not a solid science yet though there are better ways to study the brain than there were 40 years ago. As a patient, it also takes years to beat our own denial of the diagnosis, whether that diagnosis is addiction or mental illness. These are two counts against gaining sanity. Recovery in a 12-step recovery program is a strong basis for sanity. People with mental illness can't afford the experimentation that others can because the result can be permanent damage to the psyche. Twelve Step Recovery places a strong emphasis on honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. This focus is equally applicable to the treatment of mental illness, where finding and accepting the diagnosis, and learning all there is to know, will bring the best results long term. People with a mental health diagnosis may be dependent on medication to keep them balanced, to the same degree that an addict is dependent on abstinence. Self-honesty and the ability to ask for help become key in recovery. Yet, just like an addict, isolation and an ego tell the mentally ill person that they can handle things themselves and shouldn't divulge their problem to anyone, especially a boss, a lover or a therapist. These are the issues that plague people with mental illness and addiction at their most vulnerable moment. The same paradoxes exist in each illness. ACCEPTANCE IS THE KEY TO ALL MY PROBLEMS This is a well-worn statement in the twelve step programs. How ironic it is. We work so hard to apply this to ourselves but let someone come in the meeting room who has alcoholic dementia, or methamphetamine paranoia, or God forbid, schizophrenic hallucinations, and it is extremely difficult for us to avoid pointing the finger and wanting to gently hasten that person from the rooms. They make us so extremely uncomfortable. They make ME uncomfortable. I know why. They are me. It is easy to forget what I looked like when I came in. I don't want to remember that unkempt, smelly, shaky, self-conscious self, but I must or it may kill me. By helping others like me, I keep my own memory green, and I keep learning about myself through that newcomer. I would rather look at where I am now than where I came from. It took me ten years to accept that despite what old-timers in AA were telling me, I would need to seek help from psychiatrists and take medication, or I would never cease being rolled up in a fetal position on the couch, unable to move for extended periods of time. Or maybe I would be stuck the other way and spend enormous quantities of money, feeling elated not to be depressed and wanting to redecorate our whole house in 3 days, before the next crash that I knew would come. Thank goodness I was not the only person in the AA program who also had mental health problems. Acceptance is the key to all my problems if I am willing to look my problems square in the face. I can't rely on the advice of others if I am still feeling sick. I need a doctor for medical problems. Another paradox, because unfortunately, just like when I want to use or drink, the last thing I want to hear is that I need to follow the advice of someone I am convinced in my mental state, doesn't know what they are talking about. There is no underestimating denial! MUCH IS KNOWN SCIENTIFICALLY ABOUT OUR MENTAL AND ADDICTED BRAINS One of the most frustrating things for me, as I have worked as a family therapist and addiction counselor, is to hear people spouting age-old adages about people I know well, when there is good science these days that can help their family members or them. We know now that when people abuse drugs and alcohol, there are neuroreceptors of the brain that are affected, and it will take months, if not years for those centers to heal. It is not lack of "willpower," it is damage to the brain that plagues us, and there is evidence that healing can occur. These same neuroreceptors can be activated by other events/actions that impact a person, including early childhood trauma, fetal abnormalities, trauma from an accident or brain injury, malnutrition, and other noteworthy events. To fail to take these issues into account when assessing an individual's mental health is to deny the full extent of their illness and what could be effective in treatment, yet this science is slow in being adapted in the public mental health system and the public in general. (Nutritional therapies for mental disorders - PMC (nih.gov)). TREATMENT ALTERNATIVES FOR OPIATE USERS More is known about utilizing this holistic treatment for drug and alcohol recovery and these protocols are being adopted slowly into treatment programs. Unfortunately, in my opinion, the federal government has chosen the route of drug substitution programs, rather than looking at the more natural route of healing the brain by utilizing amino acid replacement therapies. The substitution method is far less expensive, but less is known about the long-term impact of these drugs, known as suboxone or bupropion. I know I will hear criticism about taking this stand, so I tell you, I am speaking from my opinion and my own observation when I tell you that I have seen how hard it is for addicts to give up this replacement drug, for distinct reasons. These include the false belief and fear many addicts hold, that this dependency means they will never be able to survive without 'something' despite knowing many others who are abstinent. The withdrawal from bupropion is far worse than from other opiates; I have witnessed this myself, working in a treatment center. Many addicts have cyclical patterns of addiction and this drug feeds that belief that they can't survive abstinent. Many treatment centers are content to maintain addicts on suboxone for extended periods (years) of time, and this feeds that same false feeling that abstinence is an impossibility. There is also a negative pattern in the drug community of users being admitted to suboxone programs and being administered a higher dose than they feel is necessary. Being addicts, they have admitted to me that they will half their strips and sell the other half for a profit. Ultimately this keeps them connected to their drug community and can lead them back to active addiction. Suboxone treatment personnel I questioned seemed reluctant to admit that behaviors like this existed. There is much current research about the use of amino acids in opiate withdrawal. Here are a couple: (Excitatory amino acids and morphine withdrawal: differential effects of central and peripheral kynurenic acid administration - PubMed (nih.gov),Early Intervention of Intravenous KB220IV- Neuroadaptagen Amino-Acid Therapy (NAAT)™ Improves Behavioral Outcomes in a Residential Addiction Treatment Program: A Pilot Study - PMC (nih.gov). This research is widely available, but it does not seem to have been well accepted by the treatment community. It is a good step toward abstinence and positive mental regard for the opiate user and we can hope for better acceptance in the future. WHY THE ABSTINENCE MODEL WITH DUAL-DIAGNOSIS? In my years of work as an outpatient therapist, there appeared a dance that most therapists in my agencies did in trying to work with dually diagnosed patients, or even in trying to tease out if that was what was happening. Patients who are self-medicating a mental illness can appear to have symptoms of different mental illnesses on presentation, which may dissipate after a period of abstinence. The reverse may also be true; that symptoms may exacerbate on the removal of alcohol or drugs, as the symptoms rise to the surface. Good research has been done on Alcohol Use Disorder and the appearance of symptoms of Antisocial and Borderline Personality Disorder symptoms, for instance (Alcohol Use Disorder and Antisocial and Borderline Personality Disorders - PMC (nih.gov)). A 2019 study by SAMHSA found that there was a huge correlation between people who abused drugs and alcohol and suicidal ideation, as well as mental illness (Key Substance Use and Mental Health Indicators in the United States: Results from the 2019 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (samhsa.). It is beyond the scope of this blog to delve deeply into this matter but suffice it to say that teasing apart what is mental illness and what specific illness it is, is almost impossible without a person being clean of alcohol and drugs. In the best-case scenario, a person would have at least 3 months clean before we re-assessed any new mental illness, while helping to balance the brain with amino acid therapy prescribed by a doctor. In this way, along with a healthy, clean diet, simple exercise and a program of education and awareness, the person would have the time to heal and for their thinking to clear before any new psychiatric drugs were introduced. In this time, symptoms will change widely, even amazingly, as I observed. The patients themselves are often amazed. On the other hand, at times psychiatric symptoms emerged, and the person might be referred to a higher level of care for evaluation and treatment as this happened. In a longer-term setting, this was a safe protocol, where the patient could be observed, moved to a higher level of safety when necessary, and sobriety or abstinence from substances preserved, while mental health issues were observed and treated as well. Notedly, there was much less risk of relapse or crisis if the trust of the patient was maintained, and the treatment milieu preserved. STAYING CLEAN AND SOBER PLUS If you'd like to read more about this, I refer you to the book Staying Clean and Sober, third ed.: Complementary and Natural Strategies for Healing the Addicted Brain, by Merlene and David Miller. Another useful resource is The Craving Cure, by Julia Ross. Ms. Ross's book will even help you look at your own amino imbalances which is a terrific way to understand the way the brain works. If you want a visual guide, I'd direct you to "Pleasure Unwoven," a video on YouTube. This video is aimed at teaching whether addiction is a disease, and it does so by explaining the science of amino acids and the brain. These resources don't speak directly to dual diagnosis, and it was difficult for me to find good references in this area. It is important that someone dealing with both mental illness and addiction have people in their life that they can trust. The development of Peer Recovery Specialists in both fields is a good touchpoint for recovering people who are dually diagnosed, as these people have personal experience that they can lend to a situation, and it helps them build trust with their clients. They can accompany their clients to meetings. They can help you, the questioning person, to move in the direction of treatment if they are doubtful or resistant. Why? Because they have lived it, besides being trained to help. Ask at mental health or drug treatment centers if they have such a Peer Recovery Specialist in dual diagnosis available to talk to. Also be aware that there are twelve step programs today, either online or in person, that are aimed directly at the dually diagnosis person. There you will find people like you, and it will make your passage to health much easier. Those programs may be called "Emotions Anonymous, Dual Recovery Anonymous, Double Trouble or Dual Diagnosis Anonymous." I suggest you google Dual Diagnosis twelve step programs and see what comes up. There are usually family programs available that correspond to the programs for the individual, or you can visit the Alanon.org page to find family support. You can contact me at Linda@CoachingaPeacefullife.com if you need further support! I wish you well on your journey!