This blog, today, is primarily for women. Men are welcome to read because you will probably learn quite a bit. I've just put out a new digital course. The attached picture is of a short digital guide that is available for the asking, and will give you a good picture of what the course is about.
WHY EMPOWERMENT AND SUCCESS
I've renewed my focus on women and Empowerment Skills. You may ask why (or you may be noticing the need, just as I have). I want women (and people) everywhere to know that it is okay to speak up for what you need, it is okay to leave when you are being hurt, and it is okay to yell when being abused, physically,emotionally, or mentally. It is okay to ask for equal pay for equal work. It is okay to say NO. It is important to walk away when you are not being listened to. It is important to ask for help when you need it, whether it is to learn a skill, get out of feeling overwhelmed, or get safe. And it is especially important to learn that women are not the enemy, and to not ACT like the enemy if another woman asks for help.
In our American culture (and elsewhere, but I'm not an expert on that), we have been acculturated to accept that we can't do better, that we must accept our roles, that if we speak up we will lose everything, that "this" is the best we can do, and that if we have been hurt before (such as in our families or prior relationships), we will surely be hurt again. In our minds, if people have spoken to us negatively or pejoratively, we start to believe what these people say, and we begin to talk to ourselves the same way. This leads to a phenomenon called "people-pleasing" where we are constantly trying to smooth things over to keep people happy, or alternatively to a form of defiance where we might fight everyone first before they hurt us and push away the people who try to get close and help us. Our inner guides are confused, and we end up trusting no one. Better to go it alone than to be hurt again. Ironically, we become very lonely and end up trusting the kind of person who hurt us in the first place, an abuser. The cycle goes on and on.
HOW TO GET TO SUCCESS
We start feeling like everything we touch turns to dust or worse. We think we are failing at everything we try, because these toxic people we choose will surely tell us so. We have to be careful not to fall into a victim role. We are NOT VICTIMS. We often need the help of another woman who has climbed out of the cycle. There we gain the insight we need, that the wool has been pulled over our beautiful eyes, the wolf is in the house, and we must run for our lives. We have brains, but they have fogged over from years of brainwashing, and we must get to a safe place to begin to learn how to use them. We must often give up self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, anxiety meds and other self-soothers (cutting, suicidal thoughts, etc.) and begin to let ourselves grow up. We often need groups of healthy women a few steps further along the path to lead us. We must unblind ourselves and start to believe we are capable. That's the hardest part!
SUCCESS LOOKS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE
Success is not about who has the most toys, or the most money or the shiniest new car. It's about getting over fear, loneliness and anger, and learning to trust. As that happens, you begin to hear your own inner voice, and you find out that you do have interests of your own, that your inner self is attracted to things you might never have known or have buried since childhood. I had a love of drawing when I was a child, but it was squashed from the time I was eight, so I buried it deep inside. It surfaced again as I watched my grandchildren's creativity coming alive and I was blessed to create with them, feeling that child inside me come alive right along with them. Some of us were meant to be artists, some engineers, some counselors, some mathematicians. I can't wait to hear from you what blossoms in you!
NEW COURSE OFFERING: WOMEN'S EMPOWERMENT TOOL KIT
I'm offering a new mini course, three hours of online live training, to allow you to experiment with learning Empowerment and Success skills. It's aimed at women 25 to 45 and its offered from now until May 15 for only $27.00, which is about a third of its value. If you go to my course page, you can sign up and I will send you the dates: linda-j-wilk.mastermind.com/masterminds/37169 EXTRA BONUS! If you sign up for this or for email now, I will send you my WOMEN'S SUCCESS AND EMPOWERMENT CHEATSHEET
for absolutely no charge! I'd be honored to have you in my class where we can talk personally!
Blessings to you!
Linda J. Wilk
March 17, 2023